Communicating with Martians isn't simply a language problem. The biggest problem is the 24 minute delay it takes for your message to reach the red planet, compounded by the further 24 minute delay waiting for the Martian's reply to reach Earth.
This can lead to some very stilted conversations. But why bother speaking to Mars when you can write?
This is where the new Aerial Bold Typewriter comes in. The Aerial Bold Typewriter can help you write letters on a truly planetary scale. It does this by using buildings and natural features on Earth which, when looked at through a telescope from Mars, look like letters.
Type out the written message that you want to send to Mars on the Aerial Bold Typewriter. Pay the transcription fee (currently $5 million per letter) and then just sit back and wait the 5 years while your chosen letters are dug up and reassembled into your loving message to Mars.
Communicating with Martians isn't a language problem, it's an engineering problem.
Disclaimer: other satellite alphabets are also available, such as the Latvian Alphabet or Rhett Dashwood's - Google Maps Typography.
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